neornithes | anon;

The real question is is what ya had worth givin' up what you've got?

Edited ((bc he would say "is is" with no shame)) 2014-02-10 08:20 (UTC)

[ Of all the people to ask her that.. it's a dangerous question. She wanted him to answer, that's why she left the name Marian in the first place. To make sure that he would, because he was the only one who knew that name. It took her a while to answer this question. ]

Yes.

The problem is that if I make that leap, I'm afraid I'm going to fall and there won't be anyone at the bottom to catch me.

Edited 2014-02-10 08:27 (UTC)

Just what is it you're leapin' for?

The one thing that makes anything worth having.

Am I supposed to know what that means?

[ There were a thousand and one answers she typed up to send to him, backspacing each because they would be too vague or not vague enough. ]

A person. The one I've been hiding from.

If ya have to bloody hide from them ain't that answer enough?

I'm not hiding because of something he did or would do.

So we're talkin' about a bloke.

You're tellin' me ya did somethin' wrong then? I can't see that.

[ That bit had actually gotten a small smile out of her before she replied, almost too easily being able to joke at him for it. ]

I'm not a saint, Will, but thanks for thinking it.

[ Of course, she sent it before she realized that probably wasn't a way to talk to him. They were still "strangers" after all. ]

Edited 2014-02-10 10:00 (UTC)

[ Will thought nothing of it, really. He considered Marian more of a friend than a stranger. ]

Ain't a single one of us is a saint, I reckon. But ya don't have to be a saint to have a good heart.

[ Oh, Will. Anastasia doesn't even know how to respond to that for a while because she doesn't want to lie to him, but she respects him enough to know that he's not a complete idiot. ]

There are many ways to describe me but a good heart isn't one of them. Hasn't been for a long time.

Then what's stoppin' ya from bein' that person again?

[ He could have just as easily asked himself that question, really.]

Edited 2014-02-10 10:43 (UTC)

A mask I haven't taken off in far too long and the fear that he would never give me that second chance.

[ That made him pause for a moment. He knew this kind of situation all too well, and it made him wonder just what he would do if Ana had been the one talking to him. Made him wonder what Marian and this guy had been through. If he was anything like Will was. ]

If this is who ya really are, then he'd probably be happy to see ya again.

[ There's a long, long time before she replies to Will again. If he's looking, he might even notice that there are still replies going to the others who responded to her post.

For a long while, she considers just asking him to meet her. The longer she waits, the harder it is to actually type the message out. Even with the assurances of most people who replied, in the end she doesn't know if she can risk everything. On the other hand.. She knows Second is willing to make deals about things. Even if not the same type as their first deal, she'll still have her connection there. She'll still have the CP, and no matter what the two of them will have a roof over their heads.

And Anastasia already knew that none of what she had was what she needed. She learned it the hard way. ]

I want to ask you something.

[ As the minutes ticked by, Will had begun to wonder if he had done something wrong. He respected her privacy enough to not stick his nose in her other conversations, though the longer he waited the more tempting the thought became. Despite himself he found that he was worrying for her. When had he become such a pushover?

When her answer came, he felt relieved for only a moment. Then came confusion. ]

Ya don't need my permission to ask a question, Marian.

In person.

[ The next words came much more quickly. She knew he would probably misinterpret her meaning as soon as she sent that, so she was already prepared to amend it. ]

You don't have to say yes or no on here, just meet me under the big tree in the middle of the courtyard if you want to.

Edited 2014-02-10 11:44 (UTC)

Hold on a bloody minute. Ya can't just go blowin' your cover like that.

[ Why would she even want to see him anyway? It wasn't like he was giving the best advice. There were bound to be plenty of other people more qualified to help her than him.

For just a moment a fleeting thought passed through his mind, but he stamped it out before it could grow. The similarities were pure coincidence. He and Ana weren't the only ones with problems like this in the world. ]

Just do it, Will!

[ She didn't want to argue about this. Not with her not even being sure if she can do it. The more he argued the long she had to remind herself that those who told her to go for it so far were someone who said he could never trust his person again and a man whose words of wisdom were undermined by how it hadn't worked out for him yet.

This wasn't a life or death situation, this was her making the leap because she had the choice to try even after she had already thought she would never see him again once she got locked into this place. ]

[ Will frowned, the text on the screen staring back at him. He didn't want Marian getting in trouble, but it seemed like she was going to risk herself rather he showed up or not. Maybe if he did turn up he could at least convince her to screw her head on straight again. ]

Fine, fine. I'm comin'.

[ She doesn't reply again. Before she goes down to meet him, she makes sure that she takes a moment to check herself. As she stares in the mirror, she takes in her own image. She looks like the perfect queen, her hair perfectly done up, wearing a hell of a dress just to keep herself looking perfect for no one... But that wasn't who Will wanted. The woman who betrayed him. Should she stand by who she was now and tell him that she would only let go over her identity as the Red Queen if he took her back or should she throw it away before she knows?

A moment more of staring at herself and Ana took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she did. She wasn't pure of heart, nor good, and she knew that. She was selfish, she always had been. She wanted freedom, she wanted Will, she wanted money, all she ever did was want things and the only way to get what she wanted seemed to be becoming willing to give it all up. Anastasia's eyes steeled at the image she saw in the mirror and she reached up and quickly took down her hair, then went to that walk-in closet that she'd so desired and changed into that god-awful jumpsuit. She washed her face, getting the extra makeup off and just being herself. She knew she looked plain. She didn't look like a queen or even a princess, she just looked like some girl. There was no point in checking herself in the mirror on her way out the door, but she did take a moment to grab that crown that Jefferson had procured for her. She almost left it, as much as she did love it, but it felt like it was something she should bring with her.

Once she was ready, she broke out into a run to get to the courtyard. She knew that someone might see her, but chances were they wouldn't even recognize her unless they got a good look because of how different she looked. Anastasia still felt like the same person as she always did no matter how she looked, but she was hoping that Will would see that she wasn't ever a different person. She was just too good at playing pretend.

When she reached the courtyard, she slowed near one of the building edges. She wanted to make sure that Will was there first. Ana couldn't shake that fear that if he saw her he'd just turn the other way. ]

[ Will couldn't put his finger on why, but the thought of meeting Marian face to face was enough to put a knot in his stomach. Everything that she had said to him seemed off somehow. If she had been found out, it would make some semblance of sense as to why she wanted to talk more easily than on the network, though it was hard for him to imagine that she didn't have someone else she could trust more than him. He considered her a friend, sure, but it wasn't as though they had known one another for much longer than a day.

That train of thought was a waste anyway. She had made no indication something had gone wrong. If it had, wouldn't she have just said so? He really had no clue, especially considering how cryptic her message was to begin with. Honestly, he still couldn't convince himself that she was capable of wronging someone enough to want to hide from them. She seemed too nice, too gentle. Like Ana used to be.

The thought of Ana made him feel even more sick. It was becoming harder and harder for him to figure out just how he felt about her. In truth, the emotions raging through him because of her made him angry as hell. He had spent so bloody long trying to forget he had ever known her, and in just a matter of hours the dam had ruptured and everything he had pushed to the back of his heart had come pouring out. He felt so many things he couldn't even identify one emotion from the next. They were all equally as powerful and painful as the other.

Will shook his head and tried to clear his mind. This was about Marian, not him. He had spent his entire walk to the courtyard with his head in the clouds and not a single idea of what to say to her or even what to expect. For all his musings, he was no further off than he had been when he left his cell. ]

[ The reality of the situation was settling in as Will came into view and Ana pressed her back to the wall she was against, looking up at the sky as if she were expecting some sort of lightning come strike her down at any moment. What was she doing? She didn't have any bargaining chips, anything besides the vague notion that Will might still love her.

The definition of madness was to try the same thing over and over again with different results and that was why Ana hadn't considered going to Will before with how they had just argued and argued. Not until she came to him as Marian and saw that somehow or other he could still see that white in her no matter how draped in red she had become. That was what made her think that maybe, just maybe, it might be worth trying something other than wishing with all her heart but never believing in magic. ]

Will.

[ Her voice rang out, but it wasn't that powerful voice she used as the Queen. It wasn't confident. It was hopeful and desperate, but still managing to hide all the fear that he would just walk away. She clutched that crown in her hand as she stepped closer. ]

[ At the sound of her voice, everything stopped. Every ridiculous thought Will had been entertaining dropped out of his mind, leaving nothing but unfiltered emotion rushing through him. He felt as though his body was torn in half, one part wanting to run and the other anchored to the ground like a statue. He couldn't even fathom forming a sentence. It had been hard enough seeing her on the video feed, but in person it was like the wound she had left on his heart all those years ago was opened anew and gushing crimson.

And yet, somewhere deep inside, there was a part of him that wanted nothing more to embrace her the way he had used to. It had been so long since he had seen the face of the woman he had fallen in love with. He had grown so used to seeing the make believe queen that he had very nearly forgotten the feeling of happiness that just looking into her eyes had brought him.

He lowered his head, clenching his fists in silence. In a way, they were horribly alike. He had clung so hard to who he had become as the Knave of Hearts because it was the only thing he had believed he would never lose. He thought if he cut his heart from the equation that he could live the rest of his life however he wanted. That he could forget, but the harsh truth came raining down on him now like daggers. Forget her he could not. ]

Ana.

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