DAY CHANGE

[avibusraris]

[ The morning announcements are slightly off schedule today, with the intercom finally turning on at 7:15 AM. Irving doesn't bother to address it. ]

Good morning, good morning! Are all my little pelicans doin' alright today? I sure hope so! Seems all that nasty rain has hightailed it out of here and the sun is here to stay! What a grand miracle of nature! For those of you who can't remember what the heck day it is, today would be none other than January 9th!

Now, if I ain't mistaken it looks like one of our newest staffers has been puttin' up sales! Pretty sweet of her, wouldn't ya say? But we all know Uncle Irving is the one who really knows how to show his love, am I right? That's why today only I'm puttin' our brand new line of jumpsuits on sale for 100% off! That's right ladies and gentlemen, all of the value and none of the price! We've got every color you can imagine, so if you're sick of that drab thing you're wearin' now, come on down while offers last! One two three four, tell me you love me more! Hahaha!

And that's all for today! The lot of youse be on your best behavior, ya got it? Haha!

Comments

[deeplove]

Why would any of them want to buy more jumpsuits, Irving?

[fireworkshows]

How should I know? Maybe they wanna catch 'em all!

[deeplove]

Where'd you get the money for a new line of jumpsuits?

[ She wants to get Irving in trouble, really.. ]

[fireworkshows]

Listen, President. I don't worry about how you do your job, do I? I'm keepin' people happy here. That's what I do. So you go about whatever is you do, and I'll keep doin' what I do, ya get me?

[ He kind of got that feeling. ]

[deeplove]

You mean my job to make sure no one's pulling something they shouldn't be?

Besides, if it were about keeping people happy, you wouldn't have to try to one-up me.

[fireworkshows]

Please. The lady up top's already got her eyes on everything. You really think she doesn't know every damn thing I do already?

Relax, will ya? Just a little humor among friends!

[deeplove]

We're not friends, Irving. You're creepy.

[fireworkshows]

Consider me heartbroken.

[deeplove]

Stop calling yourself uncle.

[fireworkshows]

I've been doin' that for ages! You think I'm gonna put a stop to a widely loved tradition outta nowhere? The public will be helpless!

[deeplove]

Uncle is the creepiest family member, especially if you're not actually an uncle. I'm trying to help you.

[fireworkshows]

Think you have a better suggestion? It ain't my fault I don't get fancy titles like the rest of youse.

[deeplove]

We picked ours. You could have, but everyone already knows your name so it's too late.

[fireworkshows]

How do you know Uncle Irving ain't what I picked?

[ It clearly wasn't. He hadn't even been offered the option. ]

[deeplove]

Because no one calls you that but you.

[fireworkshows]

And me is all I need, sugar!

[deeplove]

Good thing, too.

audio;

[androphobian]

... Are we only allowed to take one?

audio;

[fireworkshows]

You think I counted to four just because it was fun? That there is what we call a limit.

[ He might have made that up on the spot. ]

audio;

[androphobian]

No, I thought you counted to four because it rhymed with more.

audio;

[fireworkshows]

Does it? Hey, what a coincidence! Hahaha!

audio;

[androphobian]

You do know that giving out things in fours is bad luck, right?

audio;

[fireworkshows]

Woops!

audio;

[androphobian]

That's a pretty big whoops, alright.

audio;

[fireworkshows]

Relax, relax! You think I just cursed us with seven years or bad luck or somethin' weird like that?

audio;

[androphobian]

Maybe you cursed us with nine!

[ Because nine is an unlucky number in Japan. Seven isn't. ]

audio;

[fireworkshows]

Whoops again!

[ Not like Irving would have any idea. He's just a loser from Brooklyn. ]

audio;

[androphobian]

Maybe next time you should at least learn the basics.

audio;

[fireworkshows]

Listen, kiddo, I'm a very busy man. You're gonna have to cut me some slack here if I don't have the time look up local superstitions, a'ite?

text

[symphonyregalia]

I'll take gold.

text

[fireworkshows]

As much as I love you kids I ain't gettin' it for you. You know how to buy somethin', dontcha?

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[symphonyregalia]

If it's free, why do we have to buy it?

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[fireworkshows]

We're operatin' on the same basis here. Get what you want, take it to the counter, BAM. S'your's! We still gotta keep track of where our inventory goes, ya know.

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[symphonyregalia]

Makes enough sense. I'll head there after breakfast then. Thanks man.

text

[fireworkshows]

Anything for my favorite inmates!

[404eyesnotfound]

Wow.

[ This is all she has to say to this. ]

[fireworkshows]

Wow indeed, my colorful haired amigo!

[404eyesnotfound]

Always working to improve the lives of prisoners, I see.

[fireworkshows]

What can I say? It's a passion!