DAY CHANGE

[avibusraris]

[ The morning announcements are slightly off schedule today, with the intercom finally turning on at 7:15 AM. Irving doesn't bother to address it. ]

Good morning, good morning! Are all my little pelicans doin' alright today? I sure hope so! Seems all that nasty rain has hightailed it out of here and the sun is here to stay! What a grand miracle of nature! For those of you who can't remember what the heck day it is, today would be none other than January 9th!

Now, if I ain't mistaken it looks like one of our newest staffers has been puttin' up sales! Pretty sweet of her, wouldn't ya say? But we all know Uncle Irving is the one who really knows how to show his love, am I right? That's why today only I'm puttin' our brand new line of jumpsuits on sale for 100% off! That's right ladies and gentlemen, all of the value and none of the price! We've got every color you can imagine, so if you're sick of that drab thing you're wearin' now, come on down while offers last! One two three four, tell me you love me more! Hahaha!

And that's all for today! The lot of youse be on your best behavior, ya got it? Haha!

Comments

[deeplove]

You mean my job to make sure no one's pulling something they shouldn't be?

Besides, if it were about keeping people happy, you wouldn't have to try to one-up me.

[fireworkshows]

Please. The lady up top's already got her eyes on everything. You really think she doesn't know every damn thing I do already?

Relax, will ya? Just a little humor among friends!

[deeplove]

We're not friends, Irving. You're creepy.

[fireworkshows]

Consider me heartbroken.

[deeplove]

Stop calling yourself uncle.

[fireworkshows]

I've been doin' that for ages! You think I'm gonna put a stop to a widely loved tradition outta nowhere? The public will be helpless!

[deeplove]

Uncle is the creepiest family member, especially if you're not actually an uncle. I'm trying to help you.

[fireworkshows]

Think you have a better suggestion? It ain't my fault I don't get fancy titles like the rest of youse.

[deeplove]

We picked ours. You could have, but everyone already knows your name so it's too late.

[fireworkshows]

How do you know Uncle Irving ain't what I picked?

[ It clearly wasn't. He hadn't even been offered the option. ]

[deeplove]

Because no one calls you that but you.

[fireworkshows]

And me is all I need, sugar!

[deeplove]

Good thing, too.